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November 29, 2019
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November 29, 2019
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My parents are too controlling of me

I’m 16 years old. My parents are too controlling of me. I have never gone out with my friends. I have no privacy, they keep checking my phone. I’m not allowed to play video games or watch television even on weekends. They don’t let me take breaks while studying. When I try to reason with them and ask them to be liberal, they shout at me or beat me. My father even calls me names. They get angry for everything and keep yelling at me for the smallest of things – for losing half-a-mark, for not drinking eight glasses of water every day, for not eating enough, for not socializing, for not doing well in competitions, etc. Also they keep comparing me with my cousins saying they are better at academics, sports etc. I’m a teachers’ favourite because I do well in academics and competitions. But my parents still find fault with me, I feel demoralized.

It is indeed very frustrating and natural for anyone to get upset and demoralized when your efforts and achievements are not recognized and your parents’ expectations are not met. I appreciate your resilience to still do well in spite of all the pressure. But this stress is mot healthy as you are susceptible to burnout. What is very important is to talk to your parents about your concerns. Seek the help of trusted adults to help you talk to them. All parents want their children to be at their best, but many a time they forget that each child has his or her own identity and limitations. You should never give up your identity. Be clear on their expectations and how much you can do. Your goals have to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Bound. You cannot fix goals suitable for others. Everyone needs time to relax. Take time off for some physical activity. Spend quality time with friends. A healthy diet and good sleep are also very important to keep your mind and body fit.


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