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My grandmom does not like me at all

I feel very lonely. My grandmom does not like me at all. Due to this I feel depressed and cannot concentrate on my studies. I just want her love. Whenever there is a fight between me and my brother she will take my brother’s side. This hurts me a lot because she reacts without understanding the matter. She often says bad things about me, such as, “This girl will eat the whole family. She is born to kill everyone. It’s all my poor fate,” to my aunts and other relatives. Sometimes I argue with her and then I cry about why she does such things. She always praises my brother and puts me down. I live my brother very much. I just don’t want her to differentiate between me and my brother and I want that she gives me equal love which I need. Please help me.

I understand from your letter that you and your brother are living with your grandmother. If you have lost your parents she is now your family. Having accepted the responsibility of bringing both of you up, she may be overstressed and insecure; after all she must be advanced in age. Rather than arguing with her, try to approach her with a helping attitude, a loving smile and words of appreciation. Old people need to feel loved and appreciated. Of course, you too feel the same. Tell her that you too need her love. If you change your attitude, she too may slowly change hers. Some close family relative, with whom you can share your problem, may help in bringing all of you close to each other.


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